Relationships don’t exist in a vacuum. They exist between two emotional human beings who bring their own past experiences, history, and expectations into it. Two different people also have different levels of skill when it comes to communication. But better communication, because it is a skill, can also be learned.
The most popular myth about communication in relationships is that since you talk to your partner, you’re automatically communicating. While talking to your partner is indeed a form of communication, if it’s primarily about everyday, “surfacey” topics (“How were the kids?” “How was work?” “How’s your mother?”), you’re not really communicating about the important stuff. This article is primarily about how to talk in a more open and rewarding manner with your significant other.
Communication either makes or breaks most relationships. You can improve your relationship today, right now, by putting into practice some of these tips for improving the communication in your relationship.
- Stop and listen.
How many times have you heard someone say this or read this in an article about communication skills? How hard is it to actually do when you’re “in the moment?” Harder than it sounds. When we’re knee deep within
Relationships have different colors. Some have a terrific start but fade away suddenly. Others have to rough it out in the beginning but make it through fine. Why do some relationships last while others die off? What is the secret sauce that makes a long lasting relationship?
According to Psychologist John Gottman, who has spent the last 40 years of his life conducting research on couples, most marriages that result in divorce are not because of major differences in opinion but rather the inability to communicate differing opinions in a cordial manner. Also, many people try to change their partner’s personality according to their own wishes rather than accepting them as they are.
“What can make a marriage work is surprisingly simple. Happily married couples aren’t smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day-to-day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming their positive ones. They have what I call an emotionally intelligent marriage.” – Dr. John Gottman, The Relationship Research Institute
Here are the 5 signs that show that
The internet has completely changed the face of marketing for all types of industries, not least the dance studio world. And social media has become an essential part of promoting your business, allowing you to reach a completely new audience, increase enrollment and, perhaps most importantly, improving communications with your existing students.
Anyone can set up a Facebook page, start a Twitteraccount and build up an email subscriber list. The tools are all out there for us to use and most are free, at least when we’re first setting out.
But where’s the best place to start? An effective, easy-to-navigate website is vital for your business. This then takes you to the next step of improving your search engine rankings and getting your studio name and website address listed in as many places as possible online for maximum exposure. There are lots of websites that list dance reviews, job listings, local activities in your area and they are usually free to use and are a great way to advertise your studio at little to no cost.
It’s also important to understand how people are finding out about you and
We’ve heard it from every relationship advice column ever: communication is key. But what does that even mean? It’s like saying “be yourself” — great in theory but useless without context or practical application.
For years I thought I knew about good communication. I figured it boiled down to getting everything off your chest. And since I never shut up and would have heated emotional outbursts, I felt I was doing a fine job.
After multiple failed relationships, lots of reading, and serious self-analysis, I began to understand the real components of effective communication. Now, nearly three years into the healthiest and happiest relationship of my life, I’m ready to share my insight.
- Have regular bonding time. Don’t spend all your free moments together watching Netflix. Take even 30 minutes a night where you two hang out, talk, and show affection. This closeness promotes honest, vulnerable conversations.
- Don’t resent what they don’t know. Are you frustrated with something she did? Do you think she was being unfair? Did you tell her? If the answer is no, you have no right to be pissed off. Give her a chance to explain her side and apologize if necessary.
- Address your feelings as soon as possible. If there’s something
Much of success in life hinges upon the ability to relate well to others. In preschool, we were told to “Play nice … share … treat others as you want to be treated.” Those basic people skills apply to grown-ups just as much, whether dealing with neighbors, clients, coworkers, or roommates. And especially potential romantic partners.
Sometimes you meet people and a connection happens naturally and effortlessly. Other times, relationships take work and patience. Consider these strategies, which will help you get along well with anyone you encounter:
- Believe the best. If you approach any relationship believing the two of you will strike up a close friendship, chances are good that you will.
- Be positive. Negativity is an instant turnoff. An air of pessimism is a thick fogbank that forms around you and warns others away. But an optimistic attitude will draw people to you like a beacon of light.
- Help the other person feel good about him/herself. We will always love the person most who helps us feel best about ourselves. Likewise, we will be loved and appreciated by those we help to feel valued.
- Ask questions that get the other person talking. Ask, “Who has been the most influential person in your life?”
Communication is important in relationships as it allows us to share interests, aspirations and concerns, to support each other, to organise our lives and make decisions, and to work together in caring for children. Good communication is about the way we talk and listen, and about our body language. We can all learn how to improve the way we communicate.
Communicating clearly in a relationship
Talk to each other. No matter how well you know and love each other, you cannot read your partner’s mind. We need to communicate clearly to avoid misunderstandings that may cause hurt, anger or confusion.
When you talk to your partner, try to:
- Think about what you want to say and what you are feeling when you say it
- Be clear about what you want to communicate
- Be clear about your message so that your partner hears it accurately and understands what you mean
- Talk about what you want and feel – use ‘I’ statements such as ‘I need’, ‘I want’ and ‘I feel’
- Share positive feelings with your partner, such as what you appreciate and admire about them, and how important they are to you.
When we communicate, we can say a lot without speaking. Our body posture, tone of voice
Once a couple of people have settled into a relationship, things can fall into a bit of a rut. Routines form, the attentiveness that was present at the beginning of the courtship might be replaced by content complacency, and ultimately tensions arise. These simple tips may seem like common sense, but you may be surprised at how often people forget about their importance.
Communication is Vital
Very few of us are able to read one another’s minds, so it’s important to express things that weigh on us, whether they’re positive or negative. Little behaviors that bother us can become more irksome over time, so it’s good to address them early, before the irritation accumulates to the point of anger. Similarly, miscommunications can lead to some pretty ugly arguments, so if you’re uncertain about something, try to discuss it calmly so you can sort things out: you may have misheard or misread something your partner said/did and taken it totally out of context, so clarify before freaking out about anything. Even though we may feel that we know our partners well after being with them for several years, remember that we all grow and change over time, and methods of communication must change
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When the early-love buzz wears off and a couple becomes comfortable, the polite gestures and words that were de rigueur in the beginning fall by the wayside. But it turns out that kindness is the glue that keeps couples together. Follow these four easy rules and you’ll both wind up feeling more loved, valued, and appreciated.
Say Good Morning
When the alarm starts blaring, rather than blindly slapping the snooze button or stumbling to the bathroom in a fog, try turning to your guy and saying “Good morning!” Research indicates that 94 percent of couples who do this every day rate their relationships as excellent. In contrast, couples who rarely hear the phrase describe their relationships as below average.
What makes these two words so magical? When you wish your man a good morning, what you’re really saying is that it’s a good morning because you are together. And affirming your feelings in the a.m. lays the groundwork for positive communication all day.
Acknowledge Expected Acts of Kindness
There are things your guy does for you (rubbing your feet, bringing you a cup of coffee in bed), and there are things he does for the relationship (taking out the garbage, walking the dog).
The natural course of marriage (link is external) is downstream, unless you are intentional about paddling against the current. Even the best marriages will get stuck in too much distance or too much intensity and blame.
Be the one to change first. While it takes two to couple up, it takes only one to make things a whole lot better.
- Warm things up. Make at least two positive comments every day to your partner and speak to the specifics about what you admire (“I loved how funny you were at the party last night”). Make sure that your positive comments exceed critical ones by a healthy margin.
- Dial down the criticism. Many folks value criticism at the early stage of a relationship, but become more allergic to it over time. Get more bite marks on your tongue, by letting all but the most important issues go by. When you have a criticism, make it in three sentences or less. Remember this: No one can survive in a marriage (at least not happily) if they feel more judged that admired.
- Overcome your L.D.D. (Listening Deficit Disorder). Whole-hearted listening is the greatest spiritual gift you can give to your partner. Drop the defensiveness, and listen
You can buy everything from books to boats, cars to cleaning services online, but what about buying and selling property at the click of a mouse?
In his article in the October issue of the Law Society Gazette, Joe Thomas (Vice Chair of the Law Society’s Conveyancing Committee) warns buyers to be very cautious before they purchase property online.
Joe offers the following observations:
- Sellers and buyers are being offered the opportunity to buy and sell property online – a relatively new development,
- Being able to buy at the ‘click of a mouse’ might seem like progress – but purchasers need to be fully aware of the potential traps,
- A purchaser’s problems can tend to begin after they have bought a property online – and only then deciding to instruct their solicitor,
- There are some advantages to buying online – but buyer beware!
- The net effect for a buyer who pays an online deposit for a property is that the buyer can then be deemed to have ‘signed’ a binding contract – with all that this entails.
‘Top ten tips’ to avoid getting ‘click sick’
Joe offers his ‘top ten tips’ to avoid getting ‘click sick’. At a minimum, solicitors should advise their clients on matters such as:
- The importance
A survey conducted by the Australian Psychological Society for National Psychology Week 2010 has revealed how social networking is now used by Australians of all ages to keep in contact with family and friends near and far.
There are strategies for ensuring that people’s experience on these websites is positive, and help to enhance their social wellbeing.
Optimise the benefits
If you move to different geographic area or have less time to meet with friends in person, consider communicating with them online to maintain your friendship.
Inform yourself about security options
Talk to your friends or family about how to use the sites and read up on the options you have to make your personal information secure.
Use your profile in a positive way
Communicate with people who have similar interests, organise social events and share information that you are comfortable with having on the internet.
Be in control of your online interactions
If you are experiencing negative interactions with someone online, stop communicating with them and consider blocking them from access to your profile.
If you feel that you are being bullied by someone, think about how you can prevent the person from having access to your profile and talk to someone about what is happening.
Be respectful of
The easiest way to renew your pet licenses online is to use your account numbers listed on your license statement. Annual license statements are mailed in early January each year. You will need your Person ID (located near your name and address) and an active license number (located in the pet detail section of your statement).
If you are new to pet licensing, have a new pet to add, or you simply don’t have your account numbers handy, you still can license online:
- To renew, start your license session and check “YES” to the prompt “Are you renewing a pet license?”, then check “NO” to the “Did you receive a renewal notice?” prompt.
- If you are only licensing new pets, start your license session and check “NO” to the prompt “Are you renewing a pet license?”
- Upon completion of the initial questionnaire, you will then be prompted to enter your contact and pet information and continue with the license process.
Account Numbers Not Recognized
Occasionally, an individual account in our online files may not be synchronized with our main database. If the online application will not recognize your account numbers, click the “Start Over” button. Check “NO” at the “Did you receive a renewal notice?” prompt.
Stuart B. Brown, founder and managing principal of consulting firm Veryst Engineering, Needham, MA, likes to say that to be a successful engineering consultant, you have to be bipolar.
But as might be expected, his definition of bipolar is not the traditional one. “You have to be an expert,” he says. “And then you have to be able to do everything else.”
He’s learned over the years that clients hire a consultant for his or her expertise but after assessing the situation, consultants often recognize that the clients’ problems require a totally different skill set. Consultants must develop the ability to understand clients’ problems, empathize with their pain, and find solutions, he advises.
“The right response is: ‘Here’s the solution, and I can do it in this amount of time.’ You might not necessarily be using your specialty,” he says. “But if you find a way to solve a problem, clients will be happy.”
For example, his firm was hired by an athletic shoe company to investigate why some fluid-filled, shock-absorbing shoe components were failing, he notes. The decision was based on its expertise and familiarity with the failure modes of polymers and how they handle stress under impact conditions. After meeting with the
Apart from item-specific suggestions, CIS would like to make one broad comment with regard to the suggestions dealing with linking of Aadhaar numbers with bank accounts. Aadhaar is increasingly being used by the government in various departments as a means to prevent fraud, however there is a serious dearth of evidence to suggest that Aadhaar linkage actually prevents leakages in government schemes. The same argument would be applicable when Aadhaar numbers are sought to be utilized to prevent leakages in the banking sector.
The Centre for Internet and Society (CIS) is a non-governmental organization which undertakes interdisciplinary research on internet and digital technologies from policy and academic perspectives.
In the course of its work CIS has also extensively researched and witten about the Aadhaar Scheme of the Government of India, specially from a privacy and technical point of view. CIS was part of the Group of Experts on Privacy constituted by the Planning Commission under the chairmanship of Justice AP Shah Committee and was instrumental in drafting a major part of the report of the Group. In this background CIS would like to mention that it is neither an expert on banking policy in general nor wishes to comment upon the purely
For a lot of us it’s shopping season. And for those of us who can’t be bothered with crowded malls or queues at the register – it’s online shopping season.
But before you spend time loading up your online shopping cart, take a few minutes to learn a little about things like your digital footprint. When it comes to your online privacy and identity – it’s the gift that keeps on giving!
Here 10 tips that can help!
1. Get a better understanding of the issues.
There’s a lot of information about privacy to take in. Think about the implications of what you’re sharing when you sign up for new services, or install new apps.
2. Develop your ‘basic hygiene” habits
Privacy is about context. If you use one email address for home and another for work, or one credit card for online shopping and another for everything else – it will help keep different parts of your digital footprint separate.
Be mindful about what you share via social sites and elsewhere, because every selfie, retweet, or like is probably more public, and more persistent than you think.
3. Become a sophisticated user of your online tools and services
Browsers, devices and apps are often set to share your
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Do online relationships really work? Many people have argued that online relationships are only temporary and can’t work, but is this really true? Is it simply a hopeless romantic notion or can it really work? I believe if you are determined, online relationships can work and even lead to marriage. Although online relationships are harder to maintain; with love, trust, honesty and determination they can work. In addition to these four main components, here are five tips to help you make your online relationship work.
For your online relationship to survive, communication is key. Since you do not have the option of meeting up daily to spend time together, you need to talk every day. If you do not talk often, the relationship will automatically begin to die slowly. First, you both need to decide which mode of communication is most comfortable to use i.e. phone, e-mail, Skype or chat. For a successful online relationship you both need to set aside specific times of the day that are convenient for both of you. It is also advisable to talk to your partner exclusively. This means when you have agreed on the most convenient time, ensure you are not chatting
Many organisations now recognise the value of social media to increase brand awareness, market share, sales referrals, customer testimonials and to boost loyalty, improve response to negative issues and reduce the cost of supporting customers.
Research has shown that while just 17 per cent of people believe corporate or product advertising, 78 per cent of people trust information from their peers. Therefore organisations that have productive forums and active online communities have the opportunity to harness the referrals and recommendations of their members for the benefit of – or in defence of – their product or service.
In the US, FICO, a financial services organisation, was able to achieve a 66 per cent increase in sales by encouraging customers to join its online community. Thirteen per cent of its sales resulted from someone viewing a community page.
As well as boosting sales, FICO was able to reduce costs through social networking. Ten per cent of its customer calls are directed through the online community so its own customers provide assistance which has reduced their average customer service call costs.
But while many organisations have responded to such success stories and quickly promoted online forums, quite a few have failed to truly understand the dynamics
The more advanced technology becomes, the more it seems to have control over our lives. According to Lee Siegel, “we shop, work, play, love, search for information, seek to communicate with each other and sometimes with the world online. We spend more time online than ever before. Yet people are not arguing about this startling new condition.” I believe that people have too readily embraced technology, seeking only the benefits, and ignoring the many downfalls.
“It does not matter if your home is a noisy urban walk-up or a quaint cottage on a secluded bluff. If you have a screen and can pick up a signal, your mind is still in the same placeless place”(Siegel, 64). This “placeless place” that Siegel talks about is the zone that your mind enters when you stare at a screen too long, and it feels like your mind stops “Thinking.”
Recent developments in technology such as the internet also led to a decline in “normal” social behaviors. “The old-fashioned café provided a way to both share and abandon solitude, but sitting in your screen world is a whole other story. You are socially and psychologically cut off from your fellow caffeine addicts” (Siegel, 16, 17). In